2nd Runner Up in T-shirt Making Contest

(picture submitted by anonymous) 

After a long break, Illustrious News is Back! Illustrious 

News has been very busy lately with the visit of self-proclaimed illustrious visitors, but more on that some other time. 

Illustrious News recently started and ended a t-shirt making contest, for which only one entry was accidentally received. That entry both witty and boring, was just barely beaten out for first runner up by a completely plain white t-shirt (not pictured). First place, of course, is reserved until a more worthy design appears. The plain white t-shirt is predicted to sell out quite quickly, while "Everybody makes mistakes" will most certainly fall by the wayside. 

Shoe can do it!

Ever find yourself thinking, "Why can't my shoe do that?" Or maybe, your walking around some place, and say to your shoe, "Remember that time I forgot to put on my boots, and we walked through all those puddles, and you were like squish squash, squish squash every time we took a step?" If your anything like us, you can play remember when with your shoes till the cows come home, but who has time for that?
So imagine this, a brand new technology, so new, that it hasn't even made it to the cocktail napkin that it gets scribbled on before it makes it to the drawing board, but its floating around, up there, among the miasma, and the idea is: (drum roll please) a pair of shoes that are pre-programed with the sounds of your favorite memories, be it, the squish squash of soppy wetness, or the brustling of grass as you run through a field, or the squeak sound of a professional basketball player on a freshly waxed court, or the shuffling of feet after a long and exhausting day. Any of this may be just a button's push away with "The Every Shoe" (idea patented, but not really).
If you are reading this and thinking huh?, then maybe this completely unnecessary elaboration will help: the shoe, "The Every Shoe" will have a button that turns on and replicates the wearers' preselected sounds with every step they take. So if you're walking to work, but dreaming of shooting hoops, you can make that dream a little more of a reality, with "The Every Shoe." Get it now, it's simple.
The folks at Illustrious News are acting fast to pitch the idea to nobody, who is sure to turn it down in a snap.

Update from The Editor 08/11/10

My shoe sang this to me the other day: "don't shoe wish your girlfriend was hot like me...don't shoe, don't shoe baby don't shoe..."